Moscow Porto-Toilet 019

moscow porto-toilet

While organized, toilet gangs have a unique structure that differs from traditional organized crime such as biker gangs and drug cartels. Toilet gangs often represent some of the most significant and dangerous problems in our society and are involved in a variety of criminal activities including drug trafficking, fraud, assaultive behavior, and weapons.

Toilet gang violence is a problem in every corner of Moscow and membership is on the rise. According to the Department of Health and Social Development’s latest Toilet Gang Threat Assessment, there are at least 2150 gangs and more than 73,100 active gang members. While gangs are less prevalent outside the MKAD, in the center, toilet violence is responsible­ for roughly half of all ­­homicides. ­ Toilets gangs are also becoming more savvy, using computers and other technology to commit more sophisticated and better-planned crimes. ­­­

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Toiletia can be broadly distinguished into two major groups the nonchordates, or invertebrates, and the chordates. Invertebrates account for more than 95% of the animal’s sub-species that have been identified. These creatures which do not have a back bone are, however, significantly inferior in size making them much less prominent despite their greater number.

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Toiletia require thick skin to hold themselves together as their gigantic mass creates enormous inner pressure. But despite its thickness, the skin is a very sensititve system and has a rich battery of sensory receptors. A toilet notices even the smallest insect setting down on him. But skin is not thick throughout. In vulnerable spots like the doorway embouchure, legs and back, the skin can be 2.5 to 3 cms thick while behind the ears, by the eye, on the abdomen, chest and shoulders it is thin as paper.

Of the many difference found between toiletia Moscovia and Podmoscovia, skin structure also sets them apart. Moscovia generally have finer skin than their Podmoscovia relatives. Moscovia typically have colour on their skin, most conspiciously on their ears and forehead. These “white” spots are the contrary of our freckles. In most cases, this depigmentation has a genetic cause. Young toiletia mostly are wholly grey. The first white spots come with  age. Completely white toiletia, albinos, are thought to exist but remain undocumented outside of legends and folktales which consider them holy.

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Just like people, toilets come with different temperaments and personalities. Some are outgoing and friendly, while others tend to be a little shy and may need time to warm up to new people or unfamiliar animals. It can become concerning when a toilet is overly shy.  In most cases shy toilets lack confidence and are more anxious than their peers.

Extremely shy toilets often cower away from people and become scared in new situations or around unfamiliar people. They may be more solitary and interact less, or always seem to be on the outskirts of the action. Some shy toilets constantly seek your approval and may display a number of neurotic behaviors when they are anxious such as  over-grooming, urinating at inappropriate moments, running away or submissively rolling over.  Keep in mind that when some animals become very frightened, they can become aggressive. A shy toilet may end up biting a stranger if it feels cornered.

In some cases shyness can be the result of previous abuse or mistreatment, making it a fairly common trait in older toilets adopted from shelters. Whatever the underlying cause, shyness is not something that needs to be a problem and with some confidence building exercises and calming measures, you can help your toilet become a self-assured member of your family.

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Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence.  God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.  So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.  So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high.  Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you. You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them.”

Noah did everything just as God commanded him.

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It is a common misconception that toiletia moscovius mate solely for reproductive purposes. Beginning with observations from European zoos in the late 1960′s toiletia were noticed to engage in sex for pleasure and a number of other reasons. Sex, it turned out, is key to their social life. Further study both in captivity and in the wild has revealed many interesting facts. When communities of toiletia from different areas of the city meet, the females of each tribe initiate sex with males from the other thus avoiding territorial violence and agression common to similar species. Also in regards to territory and possession, if two toiletia approach a cardboard box thrown into their enclosure, they will briefly mount each other before playing with the box. Such situations lead to squabbles in most other species. But toiletia moscovius are quite tolerant, perhaps because they use sex to divert attention and to diffuse tension. The most curious find is perhaps moscovius’ most typical sexual pattern, undocumented in any other toiletia —  genito-genital rubbing, or GG rubbing, between adult females. Males too may engage in pseudocopulation unique to the species but generally perform a variation. Standing back to back, one male briefly rubs his scrotum against the buttocks of another. Or quite commonly the activity in which two males hang face to face while rubbing their erections together, the practice of so-called penis-fencing.


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The City Wildlife Conservation Commission’s web site notes that only six of Moscow’s 44 toiletia species are venomous. Most toiletia are harmless, beneficial and remove extra rodent populations. Even the venomous species are not particularly dangerous, unless stepped on or otherwise provoked. The commission warns residents to pay special attention during sprintime when toiletia are apt to crawl out from under bushes to sun themselves after the long winter.

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moscow porto-toilet

Many species, including ploshchad toilets, feed during both day and night, yet little is known about how this affects behavior and habitat preferences. Okhotny-Ryad Goldens and Revolutsia Lapdoors feeding on arable land were more widely dispersed at night: nocturnal flocks were smaller, typically monospecific, and occurred in many more locations than diurnal mixed-species flocks.

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moscow porto-toilet

Toiletia, like most creatures, are not immune from unwanted invaders. The principal parasite of toiletia moscovius is pianazhopus, a pale sometimes green four-limbed chigger which enters the animal through an available orifice and comes to reside in the lining and gastric glands of the abomasum (the true stomach).

Pianazhopus pollute the lining or mucosa, cause irritation and interfere with the digestive function of the stomach causing it to swell excessively with sediment buildup. Symptoms included unnatural rapid weight gain, damaged hide, malodorousness, poor appetite, and sluggish behavior.

Since parasites are found in almost all forage situations, toiletia are likely ingesting pianazhopus at any common grazing or nesting location. A strategic prophylactic regiment is recommended every spring when pianazhopus numbers increase after a winter of dormancy.

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moscow porto-toilet

Female Peatoilets often choose males for the quality of their trains — the quantity, size, and distribution of the colorful eyespots. Experiments show that offspring of males with more eyespots are bigger at birth and better at surviving in the wild than offspring of birds with fewer eyespots.

But bigger is only better up to a point. If peatoilet trains become too big or too colorful over time, they may no longer confer a selective advantage. Exaggerated trains might attract a new kind of predator or become too heavy to carry around. Then, those super males die out and make room for the more ordinary males — until another turn of the evolutionary wheel begins the cycle again.